Imagine it: you’ve done it. You’ve completed your college degree! Pop some bottles, take a selfie with grandma, and pat yourself on the back.
Now for the big question: if you were in charge of the universe, who would be your commencement speaker at your graduation?
Welcome to DegreeCast’s Fantasy Commencement Draft: Game of Thrones Edition.
You want advice about how to use your degree to carve a bloody path through the masses of your future? There’s a GoT character who’s ready to drop some knowledge.
The Mother of Dragons would surely talk about seizing the day; she started at the bottom and now rules from the top of a pyramid. Look for her, either to channel her inner Lena Dunham and talk about keeping it real in a man’s world or let her Beyonce spirit animal give advice about how to dominate the marketplace with shock & awe (and fire-breathing lizards—no offense Jay & Dr. West.)
Capable of JFK-level barn-burner, the Lord of the North would deliver a “don’t be evil” speech that would make Google proud. Maybe the most honorable man in Westeros, the Stark clan patriarch would likely have a lot to say about integrity, loyalty, and the power of determination. But would he keep his speech interesting for a large crowd or would he simply lose his head?
Cersei, The Queen Mother
If you think passive-aggressive moms know how to get things done, you’ll love Cersei’s advice about how to be aggressive-aggressive. The Lannister matriarch isn’t afraid to break a rule, social norm, or the best wine glass in the house in order to get what she wants. Her speech will scare you straight —not that there’s anything wrong with that.
You want a quick speech than doesn’t mince words? Our guess: he talks for 1 minute and tells you to kill anyone who stands in your way. So it’d kind of be like a speech by Elon Musk, only shorter. And hairier and bloodier.
Let’s face it: if you want wit, irreverence, and a great time, you have to pick the short man from King’s Landing. Tyrion not only knows how to party, he would probably give great advice as to how to do it for the rest of your life. Would he caution against the risks of letting nightlife overtake your job search? Or would it be a seminar about how to turn your weaknesses into a boat launching success? Why don’t we just listen to Peter Dinklage himself?
It’s commencement speeches 2015 Draft season— so get inspired! Discover who institutions have selected for their own Commencement speeches over the years. Some speakers are actually not even fictional– although how do you classify Ali G?
Your degree is an adventure. Commence with your degree search now.